First things first, what’s with the article "the" at the beginning of a company name? It makes it confusing to type up if you’re an anal grammatard like I am. I mean, can I drop the article sometimes to make my sentences sound less ludicrous? Am I allowed to say "This entry is going to be on a few Face Shop products" just because it sounds better that way? Same goes for THE Body Shop. I mean, Topshop kept it pretty simple. Except I never know if I’m supposed to capitalize every time…
UGH. WHY DO THEY DO THIS TO ME?
Uh, products. Right. Some of these I couldn’t swatch seeing as I gave them away or deliberately left them in a few public bathrooms.
1. Lipstick in BR 801
Bottom: Me. I mean, Fruit Jelly Tube
The only things I like about this lipstick are the color and the fact that it doesn’t make me look fat. Other than those, I HATE THIS LIPSTICK. It COMPLETELY dries out my lips! And believe me, I’m a master at keeping these babies moist because the moment I leave them alone, they start to peel like nobody’s business. I start the day off with perfect toothbrush-exfoliated lips and the moment this abomination of a product touches them, even with a healthy slathering of lip balm, they turn into disgusting flaky raisin creatures.
Would I buy again? Not even if Brad Pitt sold them to me for five pesos.
2. Fruit Jelly Tube in OR203
Too sticky! Also, I despise these lipglosses that come without applicators. They’re messy and sticky and every time I use them, I feel undignified. Don’t ask me why. I just do.
Other than the texture and the packaging, I think this lipgloss is pretty okay. I only bought it to go with the Face Shop lipstick from hell. There are definitely better lipglosses around.
Another flop from THE Face Shop. I have combination skin that’s mostly so oily, you can crack an egg on it and it will fry, especially in this here inferno we call a tropical country. Somehow, this pressed foundation manages to withstand the oil and guess what, instead of clumping, it dries up to this awful powdery, unblendable finish.
4. Eyeliner pencil (the green one)
Never hated an eyeliner pencil more. It was supposed to go on black but really it was just this pathetic pale gray. The only way to get it onto my skin was to puncture my flesh. Most eyebrow pencils are probably creamier. Yeah, it was that tough to work with. I probably could’ve used it for writing though… Shouldn’t have ‘lost’ it…
5. False lashes
Ok, listen, now these I LOVE. THEY. ARE. INCREDIBLE. I walked around a department store trying to find ones that were cheaper than and hopefully just as good as the Ardell ones and gave up after an hour. Still, I wasn’t willing to shell out more than two hundred pesos for falsies. I don’t know what possessed me to enter The Face Shop that day since by then I already knew I hated their products but there I was and I found these lashes and they are firm and well-priced (just a little over a hundred pesos, I think) and easy to work with and they come in all sorts of lengths and thickness and fabulousness!
Seriously, best falsies I’ve tried. And I have no idea what the things in the upper right corner mean.
6. Eyelash Adhesive
You know those little tubes that come with false lashes sometimes? Just throw those away plz. Don’t think they’ll do. Believe me, those things will be hell to work with. They’re too teeny to really squeeze hard enough the second time around and let me tell you, when that happens and your party’s in less than an hour, you’ll be scrambling around for a pair of scissors to cut the thing in half and get the glue out. Shell out a few more bucks for a proper glue! This one works excellently. It starts off blue but will dry completely sheer.
7. Brightening Rice Water Lip & Eye Make-up Remover
Ok, so the claims are that it’s completely organic and very gentle. I was looking for a facial make-up remover when I bought this and the sales assistant told me that this wasn’t just for the eyes even though the label said so. I tried it and yeah! I have to say it’s pretty good. For 100 mL though, I think it was pretty expensive. Also, there was no “brightening” that happened. There may be cheaper alternatives around.
Why’d they label it “Lip & Eye” though, if it works for the entire face? Do these people hate profit? Or do they just truly enjoy misleading consumers?
8. Jewel Effect Eyeshadow Duo No. 07
Shimmery, boring, ugly, and comes off loose enough to guarantee fallout. Yeah, even if you’re really, really careful. The other color combos might’ve been better but if their textures are anything like THIS, then they probably won’t give you better results anyway.
9. Sponge quad thing
They’re cute and I like them! They come in the clear little container so they’re definitely easy to bring around. They’re a little too little though (WORD PLAY, YO) so they do get dirty and gross real quick from blending out foundation and whatnot.
10. Angled Brush
For a shop that sells face products, you’d think this face brush would be better but it’s not. The bristles are stiff, coarse and prickly. If they aren’t synthetic, they’re probably human armpit hair or something. The brush is absolutely reprehensible, especially since it was pretty expensive. Ugh. Cannot say anything good about this brush. If you already have it, I’d say just throw it away because it will hurt your face. Either that or use it to maybe clean your sink.
So yeah, there you have it! Those are all the The Face Shop (see what I mean about that article!?) products I own. Hate most, love a few. Some say there’s a thin line between love and hate but I pretty much know on which side I stand when it comes to the aforementioned gunk!